


Gone By The Next

by TheRedLotusFlower88



Series: And It Hurts Like Hell [2]
Category: A Way Out (Video Game), Hunter X Hunter, K (Anime), Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games)
Genre: Abandonment, Betrayal, Broken Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, Partner Betrayal, Tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 20:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14901044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedLotusFlower88/pseuds/TheRedLotusFlower88
Summary: We didn't have to have a fallout like we did. But we did anyway.





	Gone By The Next

Being abandon was probably one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when it comes from someone who you thought you knew. Perhaps that's why it's always so painful when we get that feeling of betrayal - because it always comes from the one thing we never expect it. And what kind of lesson would that be if everything you loved just so happens to drop you, never loved you, or even want to be with you? Wouldn't that just encourage paranoia for the next time you've learned to care about something or someone? Make you wary of putting yourself out there so the next betrayal would hurt less? Possibly, but the lesson of betrayal was godawful. Betrayal didn't hurt less, it hurts _more_ and Hide...well...

Hide wish he could say he wasn't hurt.

Truth was, Kaneki leaving him and never getting into contact with him pretty much _destroyed_ him. For all the times they shared, the reality of Kaneki not trusting him and would rather avoid him than to tell him what was wrong, the idea that Kaneki really thought so low of him, _really_ broke something in Hide. He likes to think he'd understands, likes to think Kaneki has his reasons, but at the end of the day, they were (are they even more, now?) friends. As such, friends tell friends things - tell them some major event that was happening in their life, tell them how feel about certain subjects. Instead, Hide was kept little as much as possible about Kaneki turning ghoul, and without so much as a 'goodbye', Kaneki had up and left him, leading into his ghoul life now.

And Hide was wounded, badly.

 _Why didn't you tell me?_ Was the only question that ran through the blond's mind. The nights he'd spent crying about it, dreaming of Kaneki, telling him he doesn't need him anymore, were far too many and even if Hide decided to shoot a text to Kaneki, he knows he wouldn't get an answer back. He knows Kaneki would read the text, and not answer back. And maybe that's what makes his heart hurt even more - Kaneki acknowledges his existence, he just didn't bother with it.

 _Was all our time together worth nothing to you?_ He wanted to ask. He was desperate for Kaneki to be by his side, to stop these thoughts and self-confidence issues from happening, but Kaneki didn't even seem like he was trying as hard as Hide was, even before the kidnapping. They hung out from time to time, if Hide was lucky, but even then Kaneki seemed so reluctant whenever they were spending time together, like he would rather be somewhere else. _You're breaking my heart._

And if that wasn't enough, Hide knew he had been replaced. He stops by Anteiku from time to time, and he just _watches._ Watching how Kaneki has a smile on his face, as he come to care about the ghouls in the shop, watch how they've become so overprotective of him - especially that Touka girl - that they pretty much decided that Hide wasn't worthy of being Kaneki's friend, even though Hide had been Kaneki's friend far longer than anyone of them has. He watched, and watched, and he could feel his insides turn cold, petty feelings of jealousy and heartbreak clouding his mind. _Do I mean anything to you anymore?_

And then, the kidnapping happened, and Hide has spent so much time in trying to find him. He knew if Kaneki found out about his meeting with Yamori, he would've been worried, but that just made him feel spiteful. _Sure, care about me when my life's in danger. But don't bother with me when I just want to talk to you. Because I miss you dearly._ But that didn't stop him from searching, from going to the raid, knowing that there's other ghouls that didn't know him, would probably hurt him. _Why should I have even bothered?_

Turns out, the raid turned up empty-handed; Kaneki was no longer in the building, and Yamori was dead. Hide didn't know if he should feel proud that Kaneki rescued himself, or horrified by the fact that Kaneki wasn't as weak as he thought. Not that Hide thought Kaneki was weak, but he _knew_ Kaneki. Apparently, torture was all that's needed to change a man. _I just want to help you._

And then, the search went on - because Kaneki hadn't returned to Anteiku. He kept searching, and searching, wanting to bring his best friend - his _light_ \- back, but Kaneki didn't want to be found. _This hurts, this hurts so much. Kaneki, please._ Those nights, whenever he didn't get a lead, were the darkest.

_Kaneki doesn't want to be your friend anymore_

_You're so stupid, Hide_

_Kaneki has new friends, ones that can understand him better, he doesn't need you_

_Why can't you get the hint and leave him alone? It's obvious he doesn't like you very much_

_He doesn't love you, Hide_

The nights he'd spent staring up at the ceiling, with tears in his eyes, as these thoughts played over and over were really, really bad. They just enhance the feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and fear as Hide was starting to realize Kaneki's world doesn't revolve around him anymore. And it's not like his new world was open to him with welcoming arms anytime soon. _Guess I wasn't all that important as I thought would be._

"Kaneki," He whispered, a single tear falling down his face. "Didn't I say rabbits die from loneliness? So why....?" He started to sob.

"Why did you leave me alone?" 


End file.
